Try Before You Buy

Some things are very important to try before you buy. You know, like cars, horses, boyfriends, tattoos, saddles, etc.

You gotta try the car out, because what if it has a bad alignment problem and like the shopping cart you always seem to end up with at Safeway, wants to dive badly to the left?

Horses, well, duh. Unless you're the next Miss Cleo, you're not going to be able to know if the horse is any good or not with just some grainy photos and a trumped up description that Barbaro himself would have been proud to boast.

Boyfriends are a bit looser. After all, you can still dump his ass at any time. However, having a boyfriend is the ultimate try before you buy, since you have no more commitment to him than you do that shopping cart that lists to the left. If you like it, you can take it home. If you don't, just leave its ass somewhere and someone else will find it.

I guess a boyfriend is the try before you buy for a husband, or fuck-buddy roommate, take your pick.

Tattoos should also be tested out before you go through with them. If it's some tiny little design that only you and the whole bar are going to see when you leap up to dance before you realize you forgot panties with your mini-skirt, then just go for it. Who cares? It's not like you'll remember flashing anyone anyway.

If it's a bigger design or placed somewhere that will still show when you're wearing the legally required amount of clothing, then do try it out. Temporary tatts are good, but even better is Sharpie!

Sharpie is my best friend. It labels my grooming tools so I can find them after they sprout legs and wander off at the barn (or rather, some little bitch walks off with them), it makes really cool designs if you draw on cotton and then dab rubbing alcohol in it, and it gives me free fake tattoos. What more could a girl ask for?

If you can't reach the prescribed area, get a friend to draw for you. The design only needs to be an approximation of the final product. The point of the Sharpie tattoo is to let you see how you like being marked up. If you hate it, it washed off, unlike a real tattoo.



Right now I've got a Sharpie dragonfly on my arm. Why? I kind want an arm tattoo, and I kind of want a dragonfly tattoo, but I'm not sure if I want a dragonfly on my arm. So I busted out the Sharpie and doodled away.

I like the result. It's near the crook of my elbow, so it's totally covered with long sleeves, and peeks out teasingly when I have 3/4 sleeves on.

I'll keep refreshing the Sharpie for the next week and see how I like it. I won't have money for it for a few months, so for now, Sharpie it is! If I get tired of it, no biggie, soap is also my friend! If I love it, I'll get it.

Both the owl and the turtle started out as Sharpie tattoos, and I loved them and got them. My tattoos are getting progressively more and more visible, so the Sharpie period is getting longer and longer, just to be absolutely, 100% sure.

Nothing like buyer's remorse on something you can't smash, kill or give away.