In Case You Were Wondering...

Or care...

My new favorite blog is Hyperbole and a Half, and the cartoons made me want to draw my own. And since my bf built me a shiny new computer complete with MS Paint, I thought, "Why the hell not! I love cartoons!"

But that's nothing new. I always love cartoons!

Who doesn't love cartoons?

Besides, the best way to tell an otherwise ho-hum and mundane story is to jazz it up with pictures. Most of my stories are extremely boring, so MOAR PIKTURS!!!!

Imagined vs. Reality: Studying

This is how I study in my head. I am the picture of the perfect student. My textbook is open, my pen furiously scratches notes as my happy little brain absorbs all the wonderful knowledge. In my head, I also wear glasses. Awesome scholarly glasses.



If only...


This is how I look in real life. I vaguely look over my notes, the textbook doing nothing but reminding me what class I'm supposed to be studying for. It's unlikely that I've brushed my hair and it's even more unlikely that I am wearing different clothes than the day before.
I hold my notes in front of my face, hoping that some of the words jump off the page of their own accord and implant themselves into my brain. The pen does nothing but lie there like a dead fish, and I'm slouching so much it looks like I'm actively trying to injure myself.



Let's just say that I'm not the best studier.




Footnote: How is it that I've never discovered MS Paint before?!?!?! This is fun!!!!!

Chiropractor- AKA The Witch Doctor

I love my chiropractor. He makes my life better and my spine function as it should.

Every now and again I get muscle spasms in my back. Doesn't sound so bad, right? Wrong! These spasms render me partially paralyzed by making the most innocuous things (like sitting down) unbearably painful. I end up either half lying on the couch in a moderate amount of pain or shuffling around like a not-too-bright zombie.

Going to the regular doctor does nothing but score me some vicodin and cyclobenzoprene. While drugs are nice, they don't really do anything to fix the problem. They just make me semi-functional and slightly loopy. Eventually the muscles relax enough for me to go about daily life

But the chiropractor makes the pain go away completely! We like to call him The Witch Doctor. He passes this thing over you that squeaks if you're "out" anywhere. Then he finds out exactly where (aided by the squeaky thing), and once the spot is located, he contorts you around until things pop back into place. Snap! Crack! Pop! It feels soooo good. This is repeated until there are no more squeaks. You are pronounced "clear" and sent home to take it easy for a day or two. Then you are better! The pain sorts itself out and subsides.

I need to see this guy about twice a year. I can usually put myself back "in", but if several things build up I need him to do it. Of course, the build up of multiple issues results in lower back pain. Why? Because everything seems to tie in there. Of course it does! The lower back muscles respond my seizing up and refusing to let you do the most basic tasks like pooping or blowing your nose without violent protest.

This time I was out practically everywhere. First he cracked 3 of my fingers and my wrist. After that, my entire spine was set back in. Finally, my right foot was adjusted. My spine cracked so loud, crack crack crack crack alllllll the way up. Felt so amazingly good, though. I could just feel everything come back into proper place.

I am nearly back to full functioning, and it feels amazing. Currently, I am reveling in the act of sitting on the couch without hurting. Soon I'll be able to walk normally instead of looking like there's a particularly large stick up my ass. It's wonderful. I'd give him a hug and big wet kiss if that wasn't so, you know, weird and deeply inappropriate.

Air Freshening

It's the middle of winter, and consequently the windows have not been open for months. Getting a tad stale in here, you know? I'd love some fresh air, but the power bill is high enough as it is without making the crappy heaters cope with freezing air.

What to do?

Vinegar!

Seriously, I set out custard cups with about 1/2" of white vinegar (the really cheap kind) in every room of the house. It smells like vinegar for a day or two, then it just smells clean! Wonderful.

The caveat to that is that the vinegar must be replaced or simply dumped after 5-6 days. Why? It starts smelling like feet, that's why. Especially in areas of high odor content, like the bathroom and right next to the laundry basket.

I don't really like scented air freshener. It smells like chemicals (gee I wonder why) and doesn't totally get rid of the stale smell, just kinda masks it for awhile. So the bowls of vinegar thing is right up my alley.

Now I just need to find a good formula for a spray air freshener. Something that I can use around the cat's litter box (she has tummy problems that lead to extra stinky shits occasionally) without deterring her from using it. So no citrus, basically.

Bread

I made bread for the first time EVAR!!!!! And it turned out rather well, despite my anticipations to the contrary.

Bread making is something that has long terrified me. You mix flour, water, yeast, and some other stuff together, magic happens, and boom, bread! There's something about kneading in there too, but that was always rather unclear.

People always talk about making bread as if it's some test that must be passed. Bread is a huge task, only to be undertaken by those of stout heart and strong mind. When, and only when, you have successfully made your own bread for years can you resort to modern labor saving bread devices. Nobody ever says exactly how many years this is, but years is definitely plural.

"Well I made my bread by hand for years so I've earned that bread machine!" Uh, WTF is a bread machine? Sounds like some budget transformer that changes from a loaf of bread to a flying robot. Behold, it is Bread Machine! See him soar through the skies! Oh, it's just something that kneads the bread for you?? Bo-ring. Sounds like clutter to me.

Anywhoo, back to my bread. My cookbook has an extensive bread section, a section I've avoided like the plague every time I open the damn thing up. Okay, I did make cornbread, but that doesn't really count. I'm talking about real bread-y bread. So I never made it and supplied my desires for bread with store bought loaves, some better than others.

Even with my new found joy (and talent) in cooking, bread still intimidated me. The only bread I'd ever come close to making was the Christmas stolen (sweet sort of bread that you put icing on), and even then my mom made it, I just watched. The process was fraught with mystery, and involved heating things on the stove without boiling them, something I am not very good at.

So how did I come to take the plunge, one may ask?

My dad likes to record TV shows, and his latest craze is cooking shows. One of his favorites is America's Test Kitchen, and one episode dealt with bread. Almost no-knead bread, baked in a Dutch oven. Hmm, that doesn't sound too bad... So I tried it.

The most involved part was weighing everything out, and even then it wasn't so bad.

15 oz AP flour
10 oz water (they used 7 oz water and 3 oz beer)
1 Tbs white vinegar
pinch salt
1/4 tsp dry yeast

Mix dry ingredients, mix wet ingredients. Wet into dry, stir gently until combined. Cover and set in warm place 8-18 hours. Turn dough out, knead 10-15 kneads, shape into round ball, set in a parchment paper sling in a round dish somewhere warm to rise 2 hours. Put Dutch oven in 500 degree oven for 30 minutes, take out, place dough inside (using sling) and put lid on. Lower oven to 425 and bake 30 minutes. Remove lid and bake 20-30 minutes more or until nice and browned. Cool for 2 hours and enjoy!

Easy peasy. The complicated bit was scheduling the process. The actual amount of work that went into it was practically nothing. It was a bit unnerving how little work this took. I was expecting so much more.

The bread was delicious. A tad bland, but bread isn't supposed to be exciting. It's what you put onto the bread that's the fun part.

This is a great "beginner's" recipe. After I get comfortable with this bread, maybe I'll branch out in more adventurous territory, like whole wheat sandwich bread, or even a 9 grain version of this recipe.