Yes, homemaking.
I am a twentysomething woman in the post-feminist era and I want to be a homemaker.
There, I said it. It's true.
It was a thrilling, delicious realization. A brief, dazzling moment of true freedom. I don’t have to be tied to a job. I could spend my life doing what I truly enjoy. Whole worlds opened, brilliant and joyous. All the things I’d been dreading about adult life and living in the “real world” didn’t need to happen. I really, truly can do anything I want. Not just anything in the narrow sector as defined by our society, but truly anything.
What I want, more than anything in the world, is to do what I enjoy and spend time with the people I love. That’s it. I have no aspirations for great riches or power, no career goals, no arbitrary standards I must meet. The thought of working fulltime for the next several decades filled me with dread and sadness. How would I find the time and energy to do what I enjoyed, and when would I be able to see the people I loved?
What if I didn’t work? Why do I have to?
After I got my M.S., I suddenly had time again. With only a part-time job, my afternoons, Fridays, and weekends were free. Free time stretched in front of me like a landscape of infinite possibilities. I had time to cook. I had time to ride my horse before dark. I had time to take out the trash, make myself delicious lunch, and do laundry. I had time to sit on my butt and read, surf the internet, or watch my favorite DVDs. I had time.
When I thought about it, I have exactly what I want. Enough money to cover my bills and all the time in the world to enjoy what I have.
Something was missing, though. I had time, but not enough things to fill it with. A small apartment only needs so much upkeep, and I acknowledge that I spend far too much time on the internet. Heh.
Obviously I don't want another job. Leaving my home to work for someone else is not how I want to spend my time. After all, it wouldn't really be my time anymore now would it? Going shopping to fill the time and acquire new things is also out of the question, as I have little disposable income. But what if I made the things I would go shopping for?
There's an intoxicating thought. The raw materials would have to be bought, yes, but ingredients tend to be far cheaper than the finished product. What if I could fashion the finished product for myself? Oh, but that takes skill. I don't have those kinds of skills.
But I can learn. :)
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